Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
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