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I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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