no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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