Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize
