Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
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