I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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