I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Randomize
