please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
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He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
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do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I'm too high and old for this...
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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