I am puke
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
