Well apparently he's into motor boating.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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