Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
