I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
