Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
