im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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