Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
