Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
