her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
