I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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