Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
