pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize