put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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