she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
