The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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