So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
