Yo dont text me then not text me
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
