so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
