On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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