All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
