I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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