How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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