If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
