im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
