ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
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Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
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I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
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