Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
