I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize