In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Randomize
