He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
