What a fucking waste of an outfit
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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