I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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