I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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