The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
I just blew my weed a kiss
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
