Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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