he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
