And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
