she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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