I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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