K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
