Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Randomize
