I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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