I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
