You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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