you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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