some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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