I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Randomize
