I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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