hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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