Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
