So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
Randomize
