I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
